Sometimes

Sometimes I wonder if I'm strong enough; if I have enough faith, will, truth, love to do the things that I believe in. To get on a plane to Asia and never come back. To make my home in a land of tones, where words are sounds and incomprehension reigns. I wonder if I'd make it. If my heart would bear the excitement; my eyes the standing out, my ears the strange sounds... Yet I am not at home here, now. This city, this ordinariness, bacon and eggs and toast and coffee on a crisp winter morning, the loneliness. Sometimes I wonder...