How's the pressure m'am?

Now that I lay my little head in a country where the bus fare to work costs 34p and a great meal costs less than £1, there’s a little more room for ‘luxuries’. Feeling like a Stepford Wife I guiltily enjoyed a pedicure after work last week, the first in my 26 and a bit years on this green earth. Sitting reading Asian woman’s magazines with my feet in a rose petal bubble bath, I was temporarily transported into someone else’s life. I tried to imagine what it would be like not to work, but to have all day every day to entertain myself as a lady of leisure. Every weekend I wish that there was an extra life, and I love a holiday as much as the next person, but I really don’t know what I’d do to pass the time… there’s only so much lunching and pampering one can stand. Anyhow, I digress. I left 45minutes later leaving a gorgeous pile of dead skin on the floor that looked rather like desiccated coconut. My toenails are sporting a very fetching shade of pale green, and my heels are soft as a cushion.

So toenails all sparkly, I was feeling slightly too excited for my own good when myself and two friends decided to book into the 'Javanese Massage Hut' at the end of my road for a one hour 'full body' massage. I've had a 'full body' before, so thought I knew what to expect. I'm pretty o-fey with being almost entirely naked in front of a complete stranger, and anyway, there were going to be two friends lying next to me. So in we go, laughing hysterically at the paper knickers and loving the smell of the herbal oils. What none of us were prepared for though was the Javanese definition of 'full body'. I know there are men reading this so I won't elaborate, but let's just say there was touching in places I wasn't expecting...